EvEry LittLe ThinG
Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time..oooh
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times
lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time..oooh
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time..oooh
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I GET THE STRANGEST FEELING THAT YOU'VE GONE AWAY
r>
Friday, September 28, 2007 @1:44 AM
TrustFund Bank
Trust is a small word with many edges...some sharp some blunt...But what is Trust? Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. is the definition...To me ..Trust is one of my most important values i uphold in life and feel that this world needs more trust in things that we do whether its business or even someone else's personal life...
Recently...VERY recently... i have tasted the 2 sides of trust...for the blunt side i was poked slightly but for the sharped edges i definetely was pierced through and through... for the blunt side... I got to know someone whom i found that i can trust my personal lifestories with and that there is a certain deep level of trust that cannot be bought with money.. and this feeling is known to have been sealed with assurance that it will never be out.. thanx for being trustworthy...u know who u are... on the other hand i have been pierced deeply by another whom i loved a lot...someone who i looked up to...someone whom i may have revered as the best of human kind...someone as a tower of strength, refuge... and this was wad happened... AS someone whom i loved above a lot of people...i told him something that i found was only by right he should know.. and cuz he was that trustworthy...upon tellin him...everything was alright till disaster struck...with his doppleganger if that would fool me...he had to make a harsh comment in front of my other friends.. this brought a sudden neurotical detachment to my head and at the same time brought me to question how fragile trust can be...could this be the end of our friendship? then i took a step back and realise that no it is not...in fact it maybe a time where each of us get to know our boundaries and our stands...mayb i have hidden my opinions somewhere in my chassis of secrets but yeah it is time for me to stand for what i believe in...YOU know who u are...i do not agree with your methods of "HELPIN " me so thanx a lot..you have made me understand trust is something so important that i may have almost forgotten since i always took it for granted....
Brings me to the teaching of the day for myself...how could Jesus deal with betrayal to his death...millions...mayb billions cry out to betray him... how did he deal with this misplaced trust he had on people...he told his daddy...THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY DO? and died...Praise to Him on the highest throne he now stands...How often can we be like him...for me..this is a chance on how i can try to lead a christian life...forgive wad is done but somehow remember it for life... its funny how we can never let go of something until god lifts it up for you...Still lingerin in the presence of the lord...so anyone out there who has trust issues...embrace the double edged sword with God.
In my Silence and amazement (and probably still in anger)...i turn my eyes to our Saviour... singin
Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king
I love you Lord, I worship you
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king
This Post is dedicated to someone who forced me to update so here u have it...lolz
Left Silently
Heaven Is where i Wanna be
Monday, September 10, 2007 @12:24 AM
CHOSEN
(plz enlarge to see everyone i love for this camp)..if u dunno how just click on the picture
Chosen i was for this St Joesph Church(bukit timah) camp...Cheerios to the camp..May God continue to bless their ministry until cannot stop lolz...
I was Lazy to go for this camp initially...lookin for my stay at home rather than in camp...cuz i felt so burdened with all my sins and my low spirituality..I was devastated by my ministry failing and my life failing apart..i felt that going for this camp would hurt the participants due to my attitude..I have been Spiritually down for a few months..found i was missin something that needed to be solved and was blocking me from god and a lot of problems within myself as mentioned in the earlier posts...I was so tempted to give up and just let it be..But i decided to give my all as i tot of thoughts in how live changin i could help people who wanted to know god...how could i deprive them of it..so took my lazy feet to go for the camp...And Boy was I wrong when i said i wanted to stay at home cuz god proved me wrong..it was just a start of my Magnificent Journey.....
Went for the 1st day Met my wonderful 7 confirmands...they couldn't be more perfect to me in teachin me wad i was missin... the 1st day i got to know each and everyone of them...surprisin one was from St pats and the other was my friends close friend....Kudos to u both...God chose u to be near me... The 1st day was about Games and the last part was bout surrendering to god and reconciliation..got asked to act for a session play...when i was there acting...bein the funny man as always people laughed at how i acted...but i learn something in the process...i was carrying these burdens in real life...sin..guilt...loneliness...pride all the many more burdens and to me Jesus was tellin me what i was carryin...thanx Antonia for inviting me to act cuz i wouldn't have realized it without this play...next was reconciliation or rather confession...i boldly went to confess all my major sins like lust and esp not persevering in my ministry...the priest did it very slip shot cuz of time constraint but i believed that god had taken it away and that ended my 1st night with my participant who taught me how funny eating could be...with all the jokes they come out with and me adding on...we had a heaven of time tryin to concentrate eating food every meal...Thanx Jerome my Goliath of jokes.... and the rest of my group for bein so Participative...
The 2nd day camp and breakfast was always funny as usual...our group just had to be the noisiest at all meals again..its not my fault u all know that right?...the next day got Freddy's session bout acceptin Jesus as Lord and Saviour...He asked for volunteer for guitar playin as he needed some background music...so i took up the challenge and played...I suck at guitar but not at singing though...LOLZ...i gave up cuz i knew i cannot make it...but God proved me wrong again...with just a simple few chords pluckin...i ministered people to god...cuz i found out from one confirmand..miss Denise Watt...the unique cry girl that my music moved her...and in return it moved me how my uselessness made me useful...and i knew God was tellin me a message...At this moment faith has returned to the hands of me again...i knew god moved and breathed on me..i could feel him i was on fire... On fire when he's near me..On fire when he speak...That afternoon was healin..and when i went for spiritual prep..i felt him there...speakin his prophetic messages out..which i knew god was filling my emptiness bit by bit...healin was good for my participants...All ice was broken by then...all of them knew god and loved god...PRAISE THE LORD (PTL).. and that ended the night again
3rd day and last day...All woke up..breakfast as usual...noisiest as usual...then came outpourin...felt him much stronger now...felt like faith could do anything now...then started ministerin...and i decided to test god on how far faith can bring me...went up to a guy said some stuff...mustered courage and instantly spoke to ask him to fall in the spirit and he did...which totally renewed my faith in him(Jesus).. durin spirit prep prayed for Jerome for Jesus to show him he loves everyone equal as jerome tot he didn't receive anything from god as other people needed more attention than him..i refuse to make him think that way..i needed a sign and begged god to show him he's loved...so reachin the ending of ministerin i saw a group of facils just behind praying for him...then i went back to pray for him...then i lifted my hands to pray for him and i just had this sudden urge to look around and immidiately i saw all the facils behind raising up their hands at the same time to pray for him it became like wad 15 people praying for him...i was so amazed and stunned...God answered my prayer and showed him that he loved him at the same time...2 birds 1 stone 0 doubts left...all my participants in the end got the gift of tongues PTL PTL...they are goin home knowing god is with them and their lives will nvr be the same again...victory praise was a real victory...this few months p and w meant nothing but rubbish to me as i lost the feeling of genuine worship but this time i danced and sang like nvr be4 as i knew he was there...god was there...and I just had to be praised out...This ended my faith journey for the whole 3 days and sealed his love in me again...the smiles on each faces of my confirmands and some other not in my group but who were super friendly i love them all....erm...
Joel - The Cool Dude...nvr fail to make me feel contented with ur smile..and smoke break attempts
Jill - wants to be known as posh, ganged up with Denise to call me gay but nice meeting u anyway
Denise - scold me for makin her cry but she's the best participant as she really gave her all for this camp to know god
Wayne - Dunno u much but u kept tryin to know me...thanx dude..u made me realise i dun have to do anything to be a role model to people...
Marc - My Patrician brother in crime...knew every sneaky little thing he did but well its in our sps blood...Super pariticpative u were the best of all lahz...
Rachel - The killer eyes...dun kill me please...i nvr disturb u...fun lovin girl that just loves to eat who doesn't finish her every meal
Charmaine - the ho rey's friend....yeah super supportive girl to help me share a lot during sharings...superb lady..nothing to say...
Jerome - Tall Goliath who thinks he is flash in red tights...loves eating can whack most food in one bite...super joker and born leader...awesome giant
Justin - Buy one get one free...u buy jerome get justin free,..must come in pair if not dunno wad will happen...super deep thinker and hope that he find his path for god soon
Terrence - super Onz firm believer....made me realized some things cannot compromise...
Francis - the guy who amazed me by challenging my prayer...god heard it and opened his mouth and he shared beautiful things that money cannot buy...
Not last nor least...Steff - my co facil ....calls me names....tries to jack me...tries to amuse me...always abuse me....but nobody laughs and she tries too hard...god bless ur soul..hahaz..great support from u...
so yeah for all the people mentioned above LOVE U LOTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and hope to see u again when i cross over the other side of the island...
This camp i went home to AAR..(After action review) or rather known as debrief and finally realized wad i was missin...i was missin that simple feeling of just bein a noob aka newbie aka new person ...i was so caught up with bein so high up when no results was showing that i forget where i started from...where i started knowing god...why i started playin guitar for god...one word BACKTRACK...i needed to backtrack...now i am relivin my faith again...cuz i know i need to find back the innocent noob feeling of bein a person of god...no more advanced stuff if i can't get my basics right... RECHARGED RENEWED RESTORED all cuz of jesus name
AND i knew i was chosen cuz my facil tag wrote this MARY's..(my group name) Facilliator Kenji with a big CHOSEN at the bottom...it all connected the dots...i was meant to be for this camp and chosen..Chosen to change lives again...chosen to relive my faith my life again...For those out there who managed to read this post to the end,... U are awesome man..hope didn't bore u out...Well who ask me create theory...IF U DUN SHARE , ITS NOT FAIR>..so i am bein fair...how bout u?? .........
Peace out
Kenji
The REBORNED SOUL
Left Silently
Heaven Is where i Wanna be